Indecent Conversation

Have you ever been in that really awful situation where you can hear the conversation that somebody is having but you REALLY don’t want to?? Well if you have you can sympathize with me….
I was attending one of many family dinners during this time of year and I obviously drew the short straw and got the odd seat all the way at the end of our long table. With nobody sat across from me my best bet for conversation was the person sat next to me and unfortunately that evening this individual wasn’t really riveted by the conversation I had to offer. So I figured I would sit silently and just eat, I mean how bad can that be? Oh how wrong could I have been??!! The table for two right next to our table was empty for the first twenty minutes of my meal but twenty one minutes into my meal, a couple sat down. The man was in his sixties, Caucasian and well, let’s put it this way, not what you would call “easy on the eyes”. His lady companion on the other hand was no older than twenty, had gorgeous long black hair, a pretty face and was wearing what appeared to me to be the tightest dress known to man kind (my first thought upon seeing her was how she was going to manage to eat all the food on offer at the buffet…clearly food is a priority for me).
Now, you can call me judgmental, whatever…I don’t mind, but the immediate reaction a couple like this in this part of the world gets is “sex tourist”. It sounds awful but it’s true. Mainly because it is so prevalent in this part of the world. It’s not uncommon to see Caucasian men visiting South East Asian countries and seeking the company of much younger Asian women. It is what it is, maybe they like the look of Asian women or they believe the myth that Asian women are more obedient and submissive, or maybe they’re just damn bored…I don’t know, and although I personally find the whole concept quite unappealing, I do get it. If there is demand there will be supply.

HOWEVER, what I do find offensive and what I wholeheartedly disagree with is having to be subjected to the “dirty talk” of said couples! I am chopsticks deep into my sushi platter, which I carefully took the time to arrange on my plate from the buffet counter, and all I can hear is this guy sat at the table next to me, whispering (I should say he failed miserably at this, it was more like a strained shouting) sweet nothings to his lady friend. Even the poor girl with him looked mildly embarrassed. It started off pretty tame with “I want you to tell me all your secrets”, and quickly moved on to the possibility of bondage, apparently he likes to be spanked. The thought made me gag on my beloved tamago nigiri. Needless to say by the time they left the restaurant I had a blow by blow (excuse the pun) plan of their evening, and it seemed their night was still young.

Why would anyone, I repeat ANYONE think that it is okay to say these things so audibly in public? Hey, whatever floats your boat, if it’s your thing, fine….but I don’t want to know about it and certainly not while I’m eating my dinner in a five star hotel restaurant. I’ve never been one to hold back on saying things myself but there are boundaries you shouldn’t cross in public. It’s not normal to stand in the middle of a busy street and shout out loud your daily bowel movements or to sit at the back of bus openly discussing your sex-capades the night before…it’s rude. If I want to know, I will ask.

As a result of the verbal assault that my poor ears were subjected to, I didn’t manage to enjoy the amazing food on offer, and I am now possibly mentally scarred for life. Well, at least I have to say this, when all was said and done, he did pull out her chair for her and stand every time she got up from the table. That’s one freaky gentleman.

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